My room smells like vodka and shame
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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