so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize