did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
