woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize