Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
