You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize