Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
