i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
