i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
