The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
