You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Randomize
