Plan B is the new Plan A
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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