Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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