turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
