My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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