Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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