Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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