Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
im holly from the hills drunk
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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