we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
