Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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