the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
