I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
