this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
