We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
