so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
