Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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