My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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