Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My hand turned me down
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
