He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
