your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
