Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
