I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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