SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I need water and some morals
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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