All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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