yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
