awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
