I wanna bring you to show and tell
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
