Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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