I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
