Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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