Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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