I wanna passion pit in your ass
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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