I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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