it hurts more in the daytime
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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