The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
