I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize