margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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