Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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