You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
