you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
