the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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