just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize