i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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