Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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