You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
