Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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