happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Randomize
