That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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