are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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